| Characters |
|
| JACK
|
21- 30 ish. Son of Donald the
priest. Previously dropped out of priesthood. Is desperately seeking wife.
Good looking in a plain sort of way. Boy next door type cuddly.
Must
be able to do Indian accent. as well as be physically dexterous. Comic
timing pacing, humour essential. Has to have to be able to respond to phone
calls, embarrassing moments etc. Has a wrestling match with Sandip.
|
| NINA
|
20ish Stunning Indian Female. Has
slightly anglicised /American accent. Good figure. Jack's love interest.
Bollywood beauty, Bipasha Type |
| GURDEEP
|
21 to 30ish Smooth operator
smarmy devishly handsome. Jack's competitor for Nina.
Asian Rupert Everett type |
| VICK
|
Vick 55 plus owner of restaurant.
arranges marriage and training for Jack.
White hair black moustache. Anupam Kher type |
| TREVOR
|
50 ish. Hired by Gurdeep to get
rid of Jack and win over Nina. Smooth operator out of this world stupid it
seems but knows what he's doing, gets results.
Heavy set "lock stock"-Ross
Kemp type.
|
| DONALD
|
5o something, Jack's Dad, and
balding alcoholic, who has been hearing voices and it's not messages
from God. Donald is being retired, his church is being taken over by a
conglomerate. He is passionate about Jack taking over from him. He is
prepared to go to any lengths to stop Jack getting married. Robert Hardy,
type |
| SANDIP
|
late 40's . Jack's Indian
trainer. Jovial /but slightly crazed bored shop keeper . Kulvinder Ghir type |
| DAVE
|
35 ,friend of Jack. Overweight. .
Is metro-sexual puts everybody and everything down especially women. Loves
food and sex whenever he can get it.
Ewen Macintosh type |
| KAREN
|
21to 30. Jack's ex fiancee in
cahoots with Donald. Pretty in a white English sort of way, puts on weight
gradually during the film. Money and foreign men are her weakness.
|
| PHILIPA
|
21- 30's
.Friend of Jack. Mature but elegant, multi-married, been around type of woma,
caring. Expensive tastes. Amanda Holden
type |
| MARY
|
50 plus
. Jack's mother.Elegant but dying of cancer. Wants to do all
that she's missed out on married to Donald. Susan
Hampshire Type |
| PRIYA
|
21to 30 Nina's friend from India
who we only see on a webcam or G3 phone. Very trendy new clothes and
hairstyles each time we see her. |
| GEOFF
|
45ish Jack's frustrated boss.
|
| AMJAD
|
Open age
Taxi driver; been in the game for a long time. Speaks English with a .
Assertive, outlandish and outspoken. Is able to mimic other accents through
experience of picking up various people. Has an affinity with other Asians.
Picks up jack after his many faux pas. Helps him to get /save/help Nina when
needed. |
| ABDUL
|
Asian 30ish. Works at printers.
Pretty ugly dark skinned, slightly hunched back but deep voice with sexy
middle English accent. Inspires Jack to get married to an Indian.
|
| DOLFO
|
30plus Black Big boned, tall, fit
looking, good dress sense, smooth operator, assertive, bordering on being
English and slightly racist. Speaks English with Patwa accent in normal
conversation. |
| WAITER
|
1 French speaking males, 2 Asian
males. |
| BERNIE
|
White, Scottish. Tall big boned
man, very camp and dresses in woman's clothing. Bordering from transvestite
to transexual.Wants to genuinely find a partner and offers him/her self in
various guises. |
| JUGU
|
20 plus young upstart drunk or
high |
|
Bollywood DIRECTOR |
Arrogant
uptight film director |
|
MRS
HEALY |
Blind
old dear |
|
SWAMI |
Magical
Mystic |
| INSURANCE REP
|
Asian
and mature |
|
PANDIT |
Asian
religous man |
| SAMANTHA
|
19 to 30 Sexy white female
|
| SHARON
|
19 to 30 White female |
| PETER
|
Procters dad |
| TONY
|
Jennifers Dad |
| JENNIFER
|
Kevin Procters bride |
|
NURSE |
|
| Big DES
|
Black
Removal man |
| Mr DeputyWallah |
|
| MRS
DEEPUTYWALLAH |
|
| APPLICANT
BRUMMIE |
|
| APPLICANT
SOUTH COAST |
|
| OLD HUSBAND
|
|
| OLD DEAR
|
|
| WICKET KEEPER
|
|
|
SIKH
DOORMAN. |
|
|
MARKET TRADER |
|
| VIDEO MAN
|
|
| PHOTOGRAPHER
|
|
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